Airport

>> Sunday, March 25, 2007

Damn! My flight was late.And today of all days when I was going to make the presentation. I called the client and told them about the delay. With nothing better to do, I bought a magazine and started going through it. Nothing new but the same old news. Bored, I was looking around the boarding area when I saw her.

Could it really be her? She was sitting right in front of me reading a book. She had the same height,was wearing her hair in the same style, and her profile was strikingly similar. She seemed oblivious to what was going on around her and was peacefully reading. If only she looked up and I got a better look....

I must have been staring at her for a long time when she suddenly looked up as if she had a feeling that someone was staring at her. It was her... Those eyes could not have belonged to anybody else. Those beautiful brown eyes which I always thought were the most honest, trusting and vulnerable eyes that I had ever seen.

I was surprised and very happy to be seeing her after so many years. I got up to meet her expecting her to reciprocate my feelings.But far from being happy she seemed shocked and for some reason scared to see me.Was there anybody around with her? But she seemed to be alone.I started walking towards her but she was already gathering her bags and was about to leave in a hurry.

"Pooja!Wait. Hi. Its me How are you?"
She seemed to be caught unawares and managed a meek "Hi"
"Where have you been?" I asked
"Im fine. Actually I have to go. I think my flight is boarding"
"No. No announcement has been made"
"Well.. I think I'll go get some coffee"
" Its been years since we've last seen each other"
"Ya. 6 years next month" she blurted.
" So you stay in Delhi"
" No had come here for some work. I really gotta go now"
" Whats the matter? You seem scared of something. Is there someone with you?"
"No..actually I..."
" Mama..." I hear a child of around 5 shout and come running towards her
Shes picked him up and held him really tight.
" I have to go. See you" she said.
" Wait" I said. "When did you get married?I did not know you had a child"
" Mama put me down. You are hurting me" I boy said.

It was then when I saw the child's face and realised why she was so scared. My mind went back to the last time we'd spoken some 6 years ago.

I still remember that day. It was a sad and gloomy day. I wanted to put off meeting her and telling her the news that I meant to tell her since the last so many days. But I knew that I had to get on with it.We had decided to meet at our favourite coffee shop. It was the same one where we had gone on our first date together.

I was already waiting for her at the corner table when she walked in. She looked so happy when she spotted me.

"Hi" she said."I want to tell you something"
"Me too" I said.
" You go first"
" Baby Im getting married" I blurted out.
Silence.
She seemed as if she had not heard me. She was studying me and a million thoughts seened to be going on in her mind.
" My parents met her last month. I too met her" I said.
she was still silent.
" Baby I love you but you how it is . As much as I want to marry you, you know my parents will never allow it".
" Is that what you want?" she asked.
"Yes" I said. I love them too much."
"Ok". That was all she said.
"I'm sorry"
"Its fine"
"You Ok?"
"Ya"
"You wanted to tell me something?"
"Yes " She said. "I'm pregnant"
"What!!"I shouted. "How is that possible?I mean...You are joking right?"
"No I'm not"
"We can't have this child. Please get it aborted"
"Its my child. Not yours. You know my feeling on this. I will never kill it"
" Please don't do it. There is no way we can get married"
"I am not asking us to be married"
" Please dont do it Pooja. I will loose my parents"
There was a moments sil;ence as she seemed to be studying me and then she burst out laughing.
"Scared you did'nt I? Dont worry. Im not pregnant".She said.
"You scared me"
" Well congrats on the wedding. Who is the girl? You like her? When is the wedding?"
" Shes OK. Shes from Calcutta.Date is not decided as yet but probably after 6 months. You'll be fine?"
"Ya, I'm fine. I know this relationship was not a long term one. I know you love your parents a lot and you would never hurt them. I'll manage"
"Thanks" I said.
"For what?"
"For being so understanding"
She looked down at her coffee which had gone cold a long time ago with a very sad smile on her face.

"Well its getting late. I should be leaving. " She said.
"I'll drop you home."
"No she said. I've to get used to being alone now."
"You'll find someone better than me ...someone who will love and treasure you"
"Maybe" she said and turned to leave.

"Pooja" I called out to her." I'm sorry. I love you."
She stopped, turned and gave me a look which spoke volumes of the hurt and the pain that she was feeling because of me.

She then left without a word.

I tried calling her but she never took any of my calls. Later I hear that she had changed her job and shifted to a new city. I wrote her a number of mails which went unanswered. None of her friends knew where she had gone. She just disappeared from my life.I too got married, changed jobs and city. But I always wondered how she was and whether she was happy. Somehow I knew that she shall never forgive me for what I did to her.

And then suddenly this meeting at the airport.

I looked at the child in her arms.He was the exact replica of the photo that my mother had with her.

He was my son.

I could not believe it. " Is he ,is her our.." I started
"No! " she literally shouted. "He's mine. Only mine" Her eyes held nothing but hate for me.
" Calling all passengers of Jet Airways flight AW 902 to Chennai"was the announcement.
"Bye " She said.
" Wait" I called. "Dont leave me, not again"
She turned ant looked at me and seemed to be me asking me questions for which I had no answers. her eyes spoke of the betrayal and hurt that she was feeling.
" You still love me, don't you?" I asked
"I never really stopped loving you"

The words hung in the air.I felt as if the air was sucked out of my lungs. Her eyes were moist as they seemed to cut into my soul"

"You took away all my happiness when you left me alone"She said."But you also gave me a gift when you went which is the reason why I'm living. Don't try to take him away from me. He is all that I have. He is my life". She turned and walked away towards the boarding line.
"Mamma who was that man" I heard the child say.
"Nobody" she said.
'Nobody'. That was who I was. I hoped that she would turn around and look at me just once. But she did not.

I sat down and thought of what I had playfully asked her one rainy night when she had snuggled into my arms.

"If you had an option of having only one child what would you have?Son or daughter?"
Without hesitating for a moment she said"daughter"
Then looking deep into my eyes she said"But if its yours, I'd want a son. A son who is just like you."
"Just like me?Why" I'd asked
"Because then I'll get to know all aspects of you. I'll know you as a child,a teenager,and an adult."
"You love me a lot don't you?"
She smiled."More than my life. I love you more than anyone has ever loved you"

These word were ringing in my ears even after my flight landed in Calcutta and I was left wondering whether my life shall ever be the same again.

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