Random Thoughts

- Like why do I behave the way I do? I do want to someone nice and decent ... but that shall not be possible if I find everybody boring. Can I? Like yesterday, I got a call from this guy, we were talking for quite sometime- an hour actually and I still could not feel the spark in the conversation. I was replying to all his questions, was not rude, was listening to him, but was still bored. I just did not know how to end the conversation because if I abruptly ended it, it would seem rude and I did not want to be rude. He was a nice enough guy but I somehow don't want to have any further communication with him.. I guess he shall want to meet me but I don't want that. I always find it difficult to say no to anyone. How do I get out of the situation?

- Like where do people go when they want to cry without others noticing them? I cant do that at home because there are other around and other times I am in office. So what I do is I use the office washroom. And the best part is that since neither my eyes nor my nose are red due to the tears, no one notices.

- Like I sometimes feel that looking for a partner is such a waste of time and energy... You get random calls from people, the same conversation and then the dead ends... I mean is it so difficult to find someone interesting or is there a problem with me? The guys for some reason don't find me boring even if I am not showing interest or just listening to them. For some reason they think that I'm interesting/brainy. And then I don't know how to avoid taking their calls...

- Like I don't know where my life is heading.... everything is at a standstill.

- Like whatever happened to courtesy?

- Like men are such difficult people to understand? Why cant they just be themselves and not pretend to be what they are not and complicate matter for all involved?

- Like why am I not excited even though I'm going on a long awaited trek in a couple of weeks?

- Like where has all the enthusiasm and energy gone out of my life?

-Like why am I become so cynical and suspicious of everything and everyone around me?

- Like why cant I ever ever manage to have proper paragraphs/spacing in my posts? Whatever I do, I can never manage to have paragraphs... The entire thing looks so cluttered.