That stage of Life

OK. This post is very personal . But what the hell, there is nothing personal left about my life now, and since no one that I knows reads my blog, I might as well vent my feelings online.

It suddenly seems to have hit me that my biological clock is ticking away and I am yet to start taking baby steps to find the 'perfect guy'. Guess such a person does not exist. All the suitable men are already taken/are not interested. Some people just seem to find their partners so early in life/ manage to find someone equally suitable after a break off. Makes me wonder what is wrong with me? Or maybe as P mentioned, I'm not taking enough pains to find him. He does have a point though. I'm too shy to go out and don't mingle with people especially strangers. What do I expect? My prince charming to come riding on a horse???

I honestly believe that you should marry a man who is fit enough (and I do not mean just physically) to father your child. There seems to be a serious dearth of such men. Or maybe my criteria of a honest man is too high. Or I'm just plain tired to go through the whole routine again and have given up on everything. Or maybe I scare people away with my suspicious attitude and khadoos looks. Or maybe Ive been watching too many romantic movies to expect a miracle. But whatever the reason, I still have to find that special someone.

I even seem to remember the first time when I had this feeling that I need to have my own children. It was years ago when I saw this cute girl with her mother in a local train. Well, Ive seen even cuter kids with their mothers but that was the exact moment when I had this feeling. And I know for a fact that however lousy I might be a a wife, I shall definitely be a good mother.

I guess I shall shortly have to visit a sperm bank to have my wish fulfilled.

P.S. I saw a very cute scene today with three children squeezed under a newspaper vendor's stand and reading their school books. Wish I had a camera to capture it.