A Break In The Clouds

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>> Thursday, October 22, 2009

--Ive started thinking about mortality a lot nowadays... not mine but my loved ones and the thought of that is very very scary. We all know that we have t die someday but still...

--I guess for the first time spent diwali away from Mumbai. Went to Panchgani and Pune and had a great time...Fell in love with Panchgani all over again.

--everyone, weather they are rich or poor, good or bad are all given 24 hours in a day. What they make of those 24 hours depends on them. So it is pointless cribbing about how lucky some people are... and how life in unfair. We all get chances and opportunities at some point of time. Its just that most of us are too blind/dumb at that point to think, really think about what they mean to us.

--- I have learnt that you cannot depend on anyone for emotional, physical,financial support. At the end of the day, you have to take care of ourselves. Yes, friends an family is there, but they can just listen to you an give you advice. But you have to fight your own battles. and yes, it does definitely get very very lonely at times...

-- There is this calmness about me. Dont know weather its good or bad. ont know weather Im happy being myself or that Ive just given up an have adjusted with the situation.

---Small things can make you happy. Like random strangers smiling at you because you happened to take the same bus in the morning and suddenly met in the evening again.

--- There is this bus Im taking to office nowadays. The conductor and the driver and are very sweet and take good care of the passengers inspite of the bus being overloaded. They make it a point to have a good word to say and chat up with the regular commuters. Its peps up everyone and the mornings are pleasant with lots of smiling faces around inspite of the mad rush and the terrible Mumbai heat...

--- 2009 is almost coming to a close an nothing, nothing special / noteworthy has happened this year till now. So far, its been the most boring year for me.

--- I want something major and nice to happen in my life.... but it seems as if Ive been waiting forever for that something to happen....

Im Busy

>> Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Ive been away from here for a very long time... I do read blogs but no time to comment and write new blogs...

My personal life is suddenly busy with most of the weekends literally booked in advance doing one activity or the other. And Im loving all of this.

Saw Wake Up Sid a couple of days ago and it is a must watch movie. I could relate to that movie in so many ways especially the way Ranbir's character is trying to study Financial Accounts. Dreaded that subject in college and during my TYBCOM exams, it was the first time in my life after giving an exam, I cried. It was that awful. Luckily I manged to pass it. Ranbir has really acted well. Rahul Khanna looks absolutey dishy.... Had a major crush on him during my college days when he used to be a VJ on MTV...He looks sos sos so good.. Konkana as usual is a talented actress. Would love to see her in a light herated comedy movie sometime.

Had been on a trek a couple of months ago and am writing (trying) to write a travelogue... Shall publish it as soon as Im done. (Dosent help that Ive written just a paragraph since the last month)...

Random Thoughts

>> Saturday, August 01, 2009

- Like why do I behave the way I do? I do want to someone nice and decent ... but that shall not be possible if I find everybody boring. Can I? Like yesterday, I got a call from this guy, we were talking for quite sometime- an hour actually and I still could not feel the spark in the conversation. I was replying to all his questions, was not rude, was listening to him, but was still bored. I just did not know how to end the conversation because if I abruptly ended it, it would seem rude and I did not want to be rude. He was a nice enough guy but I somehow don't want to have any further communication with him.. I guess he shall want to meet me but I don't want that. I always find it difficult to say no to anyone. How do I get out of the situation?

- Like where do people go when they want to cry without others noticing them? I cant do that at home because there are other around and other times I am in office. So what I do is I use the office washroom. And the best part is that since neither my eyes nor my nose are red due to the tears, no one notices.

- Like I sometimes feel that looking for a partner is such a waste of time and energy... You get random calls from people, the same conversation and then the dead ends... I mean is it so difficult to find someone interesting or is there a problem with me? The guys for some reason don't find me boring even if I am not showing interest or just listening to them. For some reason they think that I'm interesting/brainy. And then I don't know how to avoid taking their calls...

- Like I don't know where my life is heading.... everything is at a standstill.

- Like whatever happened to courtesy?

- Like men are such difficult people to understand? Why cant they just be themselves and not pretend to be what they are not and complicate matter for all involved?

- Like why am I not excited even though I'm going on a long awaited trek in a couple of weeks?

- Like where has all the enthusiasm and energy gone out of my life?

-Like why am I become so cynical and suspicious of everything and everyone around me?

- Like why cant I ever ever manage to have proper paragraphs/spacing in my posts? Whatever I do, I can never manage to have paragraphs... The entire thing looks so cluttered.

Weird things about me...

>> Monday, July 27, 2009

Yogesh has tagged me... This is the first time that someone has tagged me and I hope I do it the proper way... I'm supposed to write 7 weird things about me... So here goes..

1. I can day dream for the entire day... I have a very wild imagination and my favourite activity is to hold a book/newspaper in front of me and dream away to glory... I can sit for hours together and even do the same in office in front of the PC :)

2. I have the habit of speaking to myself.... I don't notice it but sometimes my colleagues just stare at me and say 'Why are you speaking to yourself/smiling to yourself?' . I guess I do the same while walking on the road alone because many (most) of the times I suddenly see people staring at me and giving me weird looks.

3. I am not a bit scared of watching horror movies... In fact I am quite amused at the imagination of the director./the scriptwriter... I feel funny when people say that they are scared of these silly movies...

4. I can walk for hours together especially when I am alone... I feel its irritating to have company when I walk even if its from the station to my house. I never understood this thing about having company while walking. I love to walk lost in my own thoughts...

5. I am a loner and like to travel alone. I don't like company when I am travelling and I find it very irritating to play antakshari when on a picnic/trip... I don't mind if the others do it, but I don't like to be dragged into it... I just enjoy to look out of the window and appreciate the scenery. And I also fight for the window seat... never mind if its a kid that I'm fighting with...

6. When at a party or a social event, I don't like to be anywhere near the singing/dancing/games events... Id rather sit somewhere behind and play with the kids or people watch . And yes I absolutely hate to make small talk and chit chat especially at weddings... I fact I even find weddings extremely boring..

7. If I want to avoid talking to certain people/ want them to ignore me, i play dumb... They lose interest after sometime and I am happy without being rude to them...

I am sure after reading that above, I shall be officially branded what most people think I am.. ' boring and khadoos'... but that's the way I like it :-)

I have been absolutely honest here and I hope I have done justice to this tag

Terrible Week

>> Monday, July 13, 2009

Just when I thought nothing effects me and I have become immune to all feelings something happens which shakes me up...

This happened on Friday. I was walking back home from a fancy shopping mall, having bought some totally unnecessary cosmetics, a Rs. 400/- scratch guard for my newly acquired fancy cell, saving the same cell from the rains by keeping it in a plastic bag and still worrying weather the rain drops shall get into it...

It had stopped raining and I was near a traffic signal. Suddenly I spot this shall young girl, around 3 years old, sitting near a shop door. The shutter of the shop was down and the child was sitting with a very sad a morose expression on her face. The expression on her face was as if she had lost all hope in life and she was all very tired of everything... She looked like an urchin but a pretty clean one... It almost seemed as if she had run away from her house and had nowhere to stay. Her clothes were quite clean. There were a few plastic bags near her which seemed the only belongings that she had.

The next thing that I saw almost broke my heart... Next to her, there was another girl around 4 years old, her thin nylon salwar drenched in rain water, a thin dupatta covering her head sleeping with her face towards the shutter. She was probably not well and shivering with the cold. She was so tiny and her legs pulled tightly towards her chest that I would have easily missed her. She was lying on a a small stone on the pavement.

I asked the younger girl where her mother was and she generally pointed in the direction of the road... I asked the shopkeepers around and everybody looked at them as if they were seeing the two children for the first time. One of the told me that these are the part of the group that beg on the signal nearby and their mother would also be somewhere around...

I asked the child weather she was hungry and she just nodded. The only thing that I could do was to buy two packets of biscuits and give it to the girl with the hope that she eats them and the mother does not sell it of... How I wish I could have taken both the girls home, given them a proper meal and some warm clothes... I really felt ashamed to be carrying such a expensive phone around and worrying about totally frivolous matters...

I love Bombay and the people in this city but when I see incidents like this and the way we treat our children, I feel that somewhere we have failed miserably....There are so many such children living like this and most often that not, we are so engrossed in our daily routines that we turn a blind eye to them...

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Last week was generally very depressing... Im not able to find a house that I want and my best friend's marriage is breaking... The second is a shocker.... I never never thought that there was something wrong in their relationship... They were my ideal couple... I still cant get over it...