Leave me alone

Why cant people just leave me alone to lead my life peacefully on my own terms. I know that they are worried about me and want me to be happy. But do they even know what I really want? Or for that matter do I myself know what I want? I just want to go away somewhere and never come back. I know that I sound like a loser when I say this. It is very easy to say that you should always face your problems and try to solve them rather than running away. But that is what I want to do now. I want to be away from everybody. I family, my friends, my job, everything.

Last week I was so happy that I am going on a vacation to Manali in June. Now I feel that I should go on those mountains and never come back. It shall be even better if no one knows where I am. I have become a loner. I hate having people around me, speaking to me, questioning me, telling me whats good for me and whats not, how to lead my life. And I hate it even more when I know that this is not the person that I was.... will I ever be the same again...

This song is fit for my state of mind...

aaina mujse meri paheli si surat mange

mere apne meri hone ki nishani maange

aaina mujse mari paheli si surat mange

mein bhatakata hi raha dard ke viraane mein

wakt likhta raha chere pe har pal ka hishab

meri shohrat meri diwangi ki nazar hui

pi gayi may ki botlein meri geeto ki kitab

aaj lauta hoon to hasne ki ada bhool gaya

yeh sahar bhoola muje mein bhi ishe bhool gaya

mere apne meri hone ki nishani mange

aaina mujse meri paheli surat mange

mera fan phir muje bazaar mein le aaya hai

yeh vo jagah ke jahan mero vafa bikate hain

baap bikate hain aur lakhte jigar bikate hain

kookh bikati hain dil bikate hain sar bikate hain

is badalti hui duniya ka khuda koi nahin

saste daamo pe yahan roz khuda bikate hain

har kharidaar ko bazaar mein bikataa paya

hum kya paayenge kisi ne yahaan kya paayaa

mere ahesas mere phool kahin aur chale