Love and Hate

I don't love you.
No, I don't.
In fact I hate you.
Hate you for everything that you did.
Hate you for those tears, those sleepless nights,
those days spent waiting for your calls which never came,
Those lies, those tears, the anger, the bitterness.
yes I am sure I hate you.
Then why do I still remember you,
Your smile, your laugh, your ability to make me laugh,
Your innocence, your shyness, your calmness,
Your call, your messages,
The feel of your hands when you held them against mine,
The idle chatter through the nights,
The fights, the making up,
your singing, your apprehensions,
Your shaayari especially composed for me,
The phone calls, the missed calls,
The sea, the lakes, the movies,
All those memories,
Why do I see you everywhere?
Yes, I hate you. I hate you.
But do I also love you?