Weird things about me...
>> Monday, July 27, 2009
Yogesh has tagged me... This is the first time that someone has tagged me and I hope I do it the proper way... I'm supposed to write 7 weird things about me... So here goes..
1. I can day dream for the entire day... I have a very wild imagination and my favourite activity is to hold a book/newspaper in front of me and dream away to glory... I can sit for hours together and even do the same in office in front of the PC :)
2. I have the habit of speaking to myself.... I don't notice it but sometimes my colleagues just stare at me and say 'Why are you speaking to yourself/smiling to yourself?' . I guess I do the same while walking on the road alone because many (most) of the times I suddenly see people staring at me and giving me weird looks.
3. I am not a bit scared of watching horror movies... In fact I am quite amused at the imagination of the director./the scriptwriter... I feel funny when people say that they are scared of these silly movies...
4. I can walk for hours together especially when I am alone... I feel its irritating to have company when I walk even if its from the station to my house. I never understood this thing about having company while walking. I love to walk lost in my own thoughts...
5. I am a loner and like to travel alone. I don't like company when I am travelling and I find it very irritating to play antakshari when on a picnic/trip... I don't mind if the others do it, but I don't like to be dragged into it... I just enjoy to look out of the window and appreciate the scenery. And I also fight for the window seat... never mind if its a kid that I'm fighting with...
6. When at a party or a social event, I don't like to be anywhere near the singing/dancing/games events... Id rather sit somewhere behind and play with the kids or people watch . And yes I absolutely hate to make small talk and chit chat especially at weddings... I fact I even find weddings extremely boring..
7. If I want to avoid talking to certain people/ want them to ignore me, i play dumb... They lose interest after sometime and I am happy without being rude to them...
I am sure after reading that above, I shall be officially branded what most people think I am.. ' boring and khadoos'... but that's the way I like it :-)
I have been absolutely honest here and I hope I have done justice to this tag
Read more...Terrible Week
>> Monday, July 13, 2009
Happy
>> Sunday, June 28, 2009
And I'm happy happy happy......I'm not having any expectations out of anything, I'm just taking things as they come.... :) Touchwood....
Read more...Love
>> Friday, June 05, 2009
And I really really really want to fall in love...
Love someone hopelessly, totally, completely...
And I want to that to happen now.....
Just another girl....
>> Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Alone and very very lonely...
Yes, there are people around me.
Yes I do laugh and cry,
Yes, I joke and fool around,
I do the things that I'm suppossed to do,
I look like a person who is unbreakable,
That I can manage everything perfectly
That I dont need anyone to make me feel complete
That I am my own person.
That I am capable of taking my own decisions
That I am calm and composed when things are falling apart around me
I know that I am all of the above and lot more...
But I also know that somewhere I am also a girl
Who likes to be pampered, who likes to be sometimes taken care of,
Who just want to be free and be herself, who does not always have to be right,
Who needs atention even though I may never show it,
Who needs to share the small joys of life
Who sometimes wants a shoulder to cry on,
A girl who is at times scared and very very alone and lonely
Yes, I am all this and more... because after all Im just a girl....
alone and very very lonely
I want to write a poem
I want to write, write a poem.
A poem on love, a poem on hope,
a poem on passion, on life
and life after love,
of love which is so complete
where there are no expectations,
where there are smiles and laughter
where there are tears,
where there is pleasure in tears
where there is a feeling of completeness
where you are no more alone
but the perfect words dont seem to flow
to complete the perfect world of love and fulfillment....
(I know that this poem is utter nonsense... but this is what i felt,the words just flowed and the this seems to make perfect sense to me)
Crossroads...
>> Friday, May 15, 2009
Why do even the simple things in life be so difficult to achieve. You do everything th
at you are supposed to do, and then luck/ destiny and the other crap happens. In the end everything is about luck… doesn’t hard work have any role to play?
People always say that you should have a positive attitude towards life and positive things happen to you. But why is it that whenever I try to think positive, everything just falls apart and things get more messed up? Then the cycle of negativity and depression starts all over again…
I am a very independent person and too proud to ask anyone for help… but for the first time in my life I want someone to take all my decisions for me and tell me exactly what to do. Do miracles really happen???
Me
>> Monday, April 20, 2009
This is me... snap was taken just for the fun of it... a little makeup and good camera can really do wonders :)
Read more...March
>> Wednesday, April 01, 2009
- I also love March for the exam season. It a trip down memory lane when you see groups of students sincerely going through their books for last minute preparation. How I wish I was a student all over again....
- I am totally absolutely in love with Bombay. Yes, I know it is not a perfect city to live in. It has its own share of problems but I love it inspite of the crowds (or rather because of the crowds), the traffic jams, the forever dug roads, the slums and the garbage heaps. But there are also the beautiful buildings, the old chawls, the lovely trees, the trains, the BEST buses, the roads and most importantly the people. The people and their attitude is what makes or breaks a city and Bombay is special to me precisely for this reason. There is this energy in this city which I have yet to experience in the other places that I have visited...
- It was our new year last week . And for the first time since I was in school I have made a new year resolution. A very very sincere and heartfelt resolution. I have decided to be happy. I have decided that I have wasted too mant years thinking about things which I could have done/not done and in the process am ruining my present. I dont want to waste some more precious years thinking about people and things which should ideally be inconsequential to my life. I deserve better in life because I am a nice person and there is no reason to be surprised if I am getting the attention that I deserve. I have been sad all these years and I have got nothing in return but sadness so I shall be happy and see if I get happiness in return . No use mopping around for such a long time and basically now I am tired to being so sad... Its my life and I shall do everything that I can to change it...Sad faces are well... pretty sad....As they say, change your attitude, change your life...
- And to compliment my change in attitude, I shall soon have a new nice colourful template....
Read more...What do You Do When
>> Wednesday, March 18, 2009
What do you do when you have the urge to scream? Scream your lungs out ?
What do you do when you get up in the mornings everyday and realise what a mess you have made of your life? Life, one third of which is already over.
What do you do when you want to cry, but the tears just wont come?
What do you do when you are left with no emotions?
What do you do when you mind is screaming at the anguish and the hopelessness of the situation even while you are in the middle of an ordinary conversation?
What do you do when you want to quit everything and just take off somewhere where no one knows you?
What do you do when nothing around you effects you anymore? Neither happiness or sadness?
What do you do when you have those fake conversations and the smiles and the laughter when inside you are crying out in pain?
What do you do when you realise that you have made a mess of not just your own life but also of the people who love and care for you?
What do you do when you stop loving and caring for the same people?
What do you do when you realise that you have failed, failed miserably in every aspect of your life?
What do you do when you undo the last decade of you life but know that it is not possible?
What do you do when you know that you are a nice person but no one has ever loved you the way you wanted them to?
What do you do when you know that no matter what do do, the situation does not seem to change?
What do you do when you tel people that you are fine but you know that you are not... because it still hurts. Hurts so much that you know that you shall suffocate because of the pain that you yourself don't realise that exists.
What do you do when you want someone to wave a magic wand to make things better... just a little better?
What do you do when you are hanging by a nail on a cliff to save your life... but at some point you know that you shall not have the strength to fight anymore and give in to the temptation of falling in the deep ravine and ending it for ever?
What do you do when you want to die, but are not quite ready for death as yet?
People in My Life
>> Sunday, March 15, 2009
Bombay teaches you many lessons in customer service and professionalism that no other city in India can. And this even before the so called over hyped customer service nos. and call centres came into existence. I am speaking about the innumerable 'waals' around us . Our doodhwaals, paperwaala, bhaajiwala, khariwala etc. We take these people for granted. Today I shall try to mention these waals who have brought joy into my life since I was a kid...
1. The Bhaajiwala: There are a couple of these. One is from Kerala and the other from UP. The one from UP. These two have been coming to my society since the time I can remember to deliver vegetables. The one from UP has become slightly old now. But I see him often carrying the vegetable on his head walking from the station in the mornings (probably getting them from dadar market) going for delivery to various homes. I don't know anything else about him. But he is a part of my childhood who used to haggle with my mother (or is it the other way round?) about the price of the vegetables.
2. The paperwalla: The one who used to deliver paper to my doorstep early in the morning between 630-7 am without fail everyday come rain or shine. I think he was my age. He used to deliver the papers in the morning and then rush off to school. During the rains, he used to get wet himself, but covered the papers with a plastic sheet so that they remain intact. He stopped delivering papers a few years ago. He now has his own auto and I hope is is now financially well off.
3. The dhobi: This is a family which used to collect clothes to iron from us and deliver them the next day. The Father passed away a few years ago...He was very old. Now the Son comes to our house for the clothes. The father used to have chats with my mother and tell her the stories about how his son refuses to collect clothes and how he has to go from house to house to do that. This inspite of the fact that he was so old.
4. The sandwichwalla: He sells sandwiches on the road opposite my building and has been there since I was in the 4th standard. He makes the best vegetable sandwiches in the whole of Bombay. He and his 2 sons help him. He stands there from 5 in the evening till 1 in the morning making them. He has become slightly old and the speed with which he cuts the vegetables have slightly reduced. And he still calls me baby. Makes me very happy :)
5. The kahriwalla: He delivers fresh khari, toast and nankhatai to my doorstep every Sunday. Since we have shifted from our earlier house, we had lost touch with him for a year. But one day he met my father and was very pleased to know where we stay. He has again started coming to our house on Sunday. He carries a big aluminium trunk on his head and goes around the locality.
These and many other people have defied the concept of service. They have not done any management courses. Most of them I guess are barely literate. But the customer service and satisfaction that they provide cannot be measured. We don't miss these when they are around. I know them since the past so many years but do I know them?
And It Starts All Over Again
>> Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Spent a sleepless night yesterday tossing and turning for no apparent reason. Nothing is wrong but neither is everything right.
Wished it would rain yesterday night. Wanted to hear the pitter patter of raindrops on my window sill, wanted to hear the thunder, wanted to feel the rain wash away all the dirt and the grim that had gathered around me...
The feeling of despair, emptiness, hopelessness and sadness is overwhelming...Is this the way this supposed to be....
A Face
>> Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sadness
>> Monday, November 10, 2008
Being Boss
>> Monday, September 08, 2008
Stray Thoughts
>> Wednesday, August 13, 2008
A few random thoughts...
1. That old couples look so endearing when they walk hand in hand..
2. That Primary school children look extremely sweet when they are off to school wearing their uniforms, hair neatly oiled, ribbons in place with very serious expressions on their faces.
3. How teenage girls blush while speaking to their boyfriends on the phone (for that matter how all girls/women regardless of their age look so shy while speaking to their partners on the phone)
4. The inquisitive look babies give while looking over their mother's shoulder at the world.
5. The happiness on their face when someone manages to catch a moving train just in the nick of time.
6. The forlorn look that someone gives a loved one when bidding goodbye at the railway station/airport/bus stop.
7. The special smile that is exchanged between lovers...
This week I have decided that I am going to chuck out all my 'relationships' and 'friendships'. Those relationships that were always so superficial. Those friendships which I thought were based on trust. Where no one cared about what I really wanted. where there was just a give and take. Give and take of money, power, ego games....
Who cared if in all this give and take, the one thing that I really lost was my innocence and trust.








